Yo-yo time | the up and down of life and death

Posted by on May 24, 2020 in cancer diary, video | No Comments
Yo-yo time | the up and down of life and death

It’s yo-yo time folks. Please pull yours out and think of me. Down, up, down, up… Down. One day I am in enough abdominal pain (intestines, stomach, liver, kidneys) to want to die, and then I have

I look west

Posted by on May 6, 2020 in cancer diary | No Comments
I look west

The sun rises in the east while I meditate and do yoga. Heat comes from the south during my practice time. The north remains cold. But I look west, to the setting sun. My time is setting,

New Life for Easter

Posted by on Apr 12, 2020 in cancer diary | No Comments
New Life for Easter

Diagnosis Yesterday was the anniversary of my diagnosis of liver metastasis. A truly momentous occasion and reason to celebrate re-birth. For I have been born again — not in the common sense that I have adopted Christianity

Inner Smile

Posted by on Feb 3, 2020 in cancer diary | No Comments
Inner Smile

I’m crying. A lot. Unexpectedly. When I see my boys, or just sitting in a chair, not thinking about much. Sinking into my fear?. Fear of what? A tear? A query into life itself. Where from? Where

Gratus Sum | thanks to the musicians

Posted by on Oct 19, 2019 in cancer diary, recording, video | No Comments
Gratus Sum | thanks to the musicians

I have much to be thankful for, as I have said many times in these blogs. And so today, in the spirit of my nearly completed 4th Guitar Sonata, Gratus Sum – I am Grateful – I

Balance in the Dark | to create in peace

Posted by on Oct 6, 2019 in cancer diary | No Comments
Balance in the Dark | to create in peace

Dreaming | from Nocturnal by Benjamin Britten A Distant Wind is blowing  pre-buy your copy now at Gyre Music It’s dark outside I got up extra early today to start my meditation and yoga, so it was

A time of retreat follows a full summer

Posted by on Sep 29, 2019 in cancer diary | No Comments
A time of retreat follows a full summer

A Distant Wind CD is born Before my main message, I want to announce my summer project is about to conclude. I have finished editing my new CD A Distant Wind. You can pre-buy it now at

I will be.. | and Rufus returns

Posted by on Sep 15, 2019 in cancer diary | No Comments
I will be.. | and Rufus returns

Cancer is a laughing matter First, please laugh again with me at these wonderful takes on the awful reality of cancer, penned by Trevor LaBarge, former student and dear friend here in NH. I asked Trevor a

Remission? | and new guitar work Gratus Sum

Posted by on Sep 11, 2019 in cancer diary, composition | No Comments
Remission? | and new guitar work Gratus Sum

We eagerly await the results of last week’s CT scan to determine where we stand in my dance with cancer. In the meantime, I am so grateful to everyone who has sent me good vibes and well-wishes.

Rufus meets Fred | by Trevor LaBarge

Posted by on Sep 8, 2019 in cancer diary | No Comments
Rufus meets Fred | by Trevor LaBarge

I need a break, so I’m going to let Trevor LaBarge speak for me this week. If you did not meet Fred last week, please read In Sickness and in Health first, then laugh! See you next